On Growing Up.

“I wonder where the tooth fairy keeps all my teeth…” she said in a leading way and with a sly sideways look in my direction. Rose’s last wobbly tooth came out yesterday. A momentous occasion given that it marks the end of a five-year correspondence with the Tooth Fairy, each tiny precious parcel of pearly... Continue Reading →

Teen Titans

A quirk of human nature is how, despite the torture of pushing an entire person out of their once tiny vajayjay, most women produce magic amnesia hormones so that the prolonged agony of labour, even the moment-when-you-think-you-are-definitely-going-to-die, are forgotten in an instant, (with only the occasional PTSD flashback to somebody stitching up your privates), and... Continue Reading →


In my head I am Intrepid Explorer, fearless in the face of whatever Mother Nature slings at me, and resilient to hardship and discomfort. Having enjoyed gruelling years as a Brownie and Girl Guide, (back when it was less of a picnic and more of an unarmed militia), I still like to imagine myself as... Continue Reading →


Usually you'll find me gleefully immersed in a landscape of swooping meadowy wolds, rapt by the soaring song of a skylark, or longing for salty sand beneath my feet. But every so often I am pulled back to the clatter and scream of the underground, the hard edges of shiny skyscrapers, and the pacy throb... Continue Reading →

One Hundred Year War

I’m sitting on a sisterhood seesaw, and it’s making me fidgety. Did you know that the men in charge of Switzerland waited until 1971 before they finally decided that their womenfolk, despite posessing inferior female brains, might be allowed the democratic right to vote? This surprising nugget of trivia stuck in my head as I... Continue Reading →


I come from brilliantly creative parents who, in 1938, had the misfortune to be born into the austerity of war-torn Britain, but as a result, they are dab hands at 'Make-do and Mend'. As a child, I was rather proud of the groovy patches in the seat of my beloved corduroy dungarees, and some of... Continue Reading →


At school I was never what you might call sporty. In the winter we faced a mile long trudge to the hockey ground up the 1:4 gradient known as Chalky Lane. I still shudder at the mention of it. In summer I was supposed to be good at netball on account of my height, but despite once... Continue Reading →


Living as we do, in the wide rural hinterland halfway between the great northern cities of York and Hull, and being country mice, (also having adopted a certain Yorkshire parsimony when it comes to excessive fuel consumption), outings to these bustling metropoles are infrequent, and strictly reserved for special shopping trips, or meals out, so... Continue Reading →

Getting Lippy

A while ago I wrote about a dawning (Dawn French-ing, to be more precise) realisation that I will soon have to grow up, embrace ageing as a part of life, and stop being vain. But at the moment I'm still kicking and screaming, clawing my way back towards the light of youth. It isn't pretty,... Continue Reading →

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