Suit Yourself

"Do we HAVE to go?" I might have been insisting on a family visit to a mortuary, or worse still, expecting them to accompany me to a Cliff Richard concert. But no, it turns out that my children have simply reached a point in their lives when the prospect of a trip to the seaside... Continue Reading →

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Midsummer Murmurs

The day started with an exhilarating plunge into the deep cool waters at Allerthorpe where I swam long and hard, imagining myself as The Lady of the Lake, a sleek creature, clothed in white samite, mystic, wonderful, gliding through the murky water. In fact I must have looked more like a Donald McGill fat lady... Continue Reading →

BIKINI ALERT

“D’you want a bag for that?” I half detected a sneer and glanced up to check her face for the thinly veiled contempt of a Topshop sales assistant, but what I saw was the sweet young girl just doing her job. “I think it’ll go in my handbag, thanks” Relieved, I stuffed the wayward tentacles... Continue Reading →

Age Shall Weary Me, (…and I’m glad.)

Accompanied by the stretched-out silhouette of a sleek cyclist and hypnotic spinning wheels on the road surface to my right, I felt free and energised, heading home on my sunny evening ride. I could almost fancy myself as a fit young thing. But I was distracted by a persistent problem with the bike; a loud... Continue Reading →

On Growing Up.

“I wonder where the tooth fairy keeps all my teeth…” she said in a leading way and with a sly sideways look in my direction. Rose’s last wobbly tooth came out yesterday. A momentous occasion given that it marks the end of a five-year correspondence with the Tooth Fairy, each tiny precious parcel of pearly... Continue Reading →

Teen Titans

A quirk of human nature is how, despite the torture of pushing an entire person out of their once tiny vajayjay, most women produce magic amnesia hormones so that the prolonged agony of labour, even the moment-when-you-think-you-are-definitely-going-to-die, are forgotten in an instant, (with only the occasional PTSD flashback to somebody stitching up your privates), and... Continue Reading →

TO HANNAH

In my head I am Intrepid Explorer, fearless in the face of whatever Mother Nature slings at me, and resilient to hardship and discomfort. Having enjoyed gruelling years as a Brownie and Girl Guide, (back when it was less of a picnic and more of an unarmed militia), I still like to imagine myself as... Continue Reading →

LONDON CALLING

Usually you'll find me gleefully immersed in a landscape of swooping meadowy wolds, rapt by the soaring song of a skylark, or longing for salty sand beneath my feet. But every so often I am pulled back to the clatter and scream of the underground, the hard edges of shiny skyscrapers, and the pacy throb... Continue Reading →

One Hundred Year War

I’m sitting on a sisterhood seesaw, and it’s making me fidgety. Did you know that the men in charge of Switzerland waited until 1971 before they finally decided that their womenfolk, despite posessing inferior female brains, might be allowed the democratic right to vote? This surprising nugget of trivia stuck in my head as I... Continue Reading →

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